I read a few news articles today, and the stupidity of the Human race never ceases to amaze me. The first article I read was about a US Marine being shot in the back of the head with an M-16. Was he killed by a terrorist? Was he attacked by an insurgent? Was it the result of Friendly Fire?
No.
He was lying down in his bunk, after watching Star Wars. One of his idiot buddies forgot that his other buddy's M-16 rifle was loaded, and it accidently went off, hitting the poor Marine in the head, and killing him. The two men where charged with Involuntary Manslaughter, and one is being charged with negligent discharge of a weapon, and the other is charged with dereliction of duty, additionally.
Marines are required to dry-fire their weapons into sand-filled barrels or sacks before they enter any building. After that, they're required to be checked by another soldier to make sure that they're unarmed. Apparently, even though this is a rule, there is no punishment for failing to follow it. What pisses me off, as it's pissing off the mother of the dead Marine, is that no one is being punished for what caused the accident: the fact the no one was following a very common sense rule.
Ok... I expect this kind of thing to happen amongst civilians - aka, normal people. I don't expect to see or hear about this shit when they're talking about MARINES. You spend months in training as a Marine. Don't they fucking teach you how to use your God damned head? The article also mentioned that the mother and the two Marines are making a "safety" video. What the fuck, seriously? These are the people that we are trusting to protect us.. and now, they need special "videos" to learn common sense? For the love of God...
Oh, and I'm not a complete prick. I'm sorry about the Marine's death, and I send my condolances to his family. Hopefully, in the future, such a stupid accident can be avoided.
In other news, the program, Toys for Tots, rejected 4,000 dolls.... of Jesus. I mean, holy fuck. Battery powered Jesus! Everyone wants one of those. I know I would. But Toys for Tots is run by the military, and the military, as a Government entity or whatever the hell, isn't allowed to prefer one religion over another. The toys are being given to children, and obviously, they know nothing of the children's religious or ethnic background. I guess they think it's a bad idea to give Jesus to a Jewish or Muslim kid, as the article mentioned.
What I think is stupid is that there is such a need for consideration. It's a toy. A toy is a toy. Religion, though something that is meant to promote love and peace, is one of the things that causes Humans to divide themselves. The fact that it causes wars and general unrest is obviously a given, but to think that it would affect something as simple and innocent as a toy is just ridiculous. I mean in both ways, where it's stupid that there is a toy like that in the first place, and where it's stupid that people are so sensitive to a TOY.
I find the fact that there are religious toys offensive. I have always believed that someone's religion should be their own choice, and not something they're forced into. Religion is a serious thing, and not fun and games; there should be no toys of it. Stop brain washing your fucking kids and let them decide on their own what they want to believe.
In our "weird and fucked up stories" department, I have the story of Michael and Sharen Gravelle, who had adopted 11 "Special needs" children and... had them all sleeping in cages. The children were between the ages of 1 and 15. They had varying disorders... but what irks me is that the lawyers for the "parents" are very confident that they will easily win the case. That's messed up. Children aren't animals, and they shouldn't be kept in cages.
It's sad that there should even be a consideration for these people being innocent. They're having trouble finding a jury for the trial, because everyone is biased against the couple in some way. I'm not surprised, personally. I don't see how the couple and their lawyers can claim that they weren't mistreating the children when the little fuckers were sleeping in CAGES. Because, being forced to sleep in a cage that is used to keep chickens isn't being mistreated at all. Oh, no.
And this case is yet another piece of evidence that the American Justice system is anything but. These people obviously have some issues and aren't fit to be within 10 feet of a child, but... there is need to prove it? Why is there not enough proof for you bastards? Why are they even being considered as "innocent"? What is wrong with this country, where people like this have even a chance of getting off without punishment?
Our last bit of news features the very image of idiocy.
The following video shows a man attempting to rob what looks like a 7/11, or something similar.
First of all, I have found out that Killer_Spork isn't dead. She died, clinically, but was then revived. Her mother heard that she was dead, immediately phoned Spork's sister, and she went to tell us. She was obviously in a weird mood, so she wasn't contacting anyone or anything... and her mother was unable to reach her, and thus let us know that she was alive.
She seems to be recovering, and I wish her a speedy recovery.
Now, back to today's regularly scheduled rant.
My rant today will be something different than from what I usually do. It may or may not be boring to you. If it's boring, I'm terribly sorry, but no one is making you read this piece of shit anyway.
This is one of those times where I sat down, thinking, again. I thought... and then decided I didn't want to think about it. Really, I didn't. It's not something that anyone would want to think about. That, and I didn't know how to explain it. Me, sitting there, screaming fucktawtcuntdickshitcocksuckermotherfucker wouldn't help anything at all. And that's what it would be. In my rage, it's all I can do. It's pathetic, if you really think about it.
But, then, I read Faye's blog entry, and I thought that I woud try anyway. Because, seeing that, it forced me to think of the most pathetic, wretched, useless, pitiful, and worthless creature known to me.
Myself.
I'm sorry for being myself.
I am. I don't mean to be what I am. I've been told numerous times that I'm a kind and gentle being. I'm not. I'm violent, cruel, and, on top of that, a suicidal twit. I know that I can be kind. I do care for my friends, after all. More than care. I love them. Whom else am I to love? I've only got my friends, my husband, and my son.
I can't bring myself to say that I loved you - my parents. I tried. I tried because they were my parents. You are the people who gave life to me. All of my experiences, bad and good, are only possible because you brought about my existance. And I am grateful that I am given the chance to live. To experience what is denied to many. Yet, I am still an ungrateful swine, but we'll get to that part later.
I was never enough for you. There was always something more that was wanted of me. I understand that wanting the best possible for and from your child is all right. To push your child, to want them to strive for the best possible outcome... but is it ok to never tell that that they're fine the way the are? Is it ok to never realize that no one is totally perfect and that there will always be something wrong with your child?
That there will always be something wrong with me? That's the way it was, wasn't it? I wasn't manly enough, I wasn't smart enough, I wasn't funny enough, I wasn't quick enough, I wasn't handy enough, I wasn't kind enough, I wasn't assertive enough, I wasn't tough enough, I wasn't tall enough, I wasn't cute enough, I wasn't coordinated enough, I WASN'T FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH.
That's all you ever told me.
"YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE MY SON."
.. Well, I'm so fucking sorry. And then you wonder why I'm bitter. Well, at first you wondered. Then you just stopped giving a shit. My sister had to do your job. She didn't have to do that, and she shouldn't have needed to do it, because it was your fucking job.
I wasn't even worth your time for that. But why? Fucking tell me why. I demand it. This is something that has messed me up and fucked me up and nothing will ever fix it. And you did this to me. I want to fucking know why!
And... love you? Love you? ... I can't. I hate you! But can I hate you? Am I allowed to hate you? I don't know... I just don't know what I want, or what I can do. I feel like an aweful little prick for hating you - you're my parents!- but you never treated me like a child. I was a stranger in my own home.
And so... you tormet me. You're both gone, you've both succumbed to your age, but you still torment me, and it will probably never leave me.
You made me feel like nothing. You made me believe that I am nothing. I want to die. What do you think of that? Do you care? I never told you that I wanted to kill myself, and you never heard of my attempts. I couldn't confide in you. What was there to confide in? There was nothing there.
Would you care? Would you ever shed a tear for me, Father? Would you give me a hug, Mother? Would you regard me as your son and not some monster in your house?
Last night I went to sleep with the news that Killer_Spork, one of the Varus members, had gotten into a car accident, and a rather serious one, for she was in a coma. I woke up at 05:31 am to see if Varus needed me to some moderating, and when I was poking through the topics, I came across the topic which stated that Killer_Spork was in a coma.
She has died.
Her sister was somehow granted permission onto her account, and has made the announcment.
What the hell is it with people around me dying? I prayed for her. Is it because I prayed? I normally don't, and somehow, the few times when I did pray, the people die. Am I cursed? If it hadn't been for me, would Steven's sister Natalie have lived? Would Sporky still be with us today? Is it my fault, Lord?
I know that it seems like a silly thing to think, but I can't help it. I didn't know Sporky extremely well, but I liked her a lot. I'm a prick by nature I tend to dislike people rather than like them right away, and she was one of the few people that I liked right away. I hope that she can rest in peace.
Now, I had a whole big-ass rant planned before I saw the sad news, and I'll continue with it. Personally, if I were dead, I wouldn't want my death to make things come to a halt. I'd want them to continue, and knowing Sporky for the kind of person she was (or seemed to be, at least) I'm sure she'd feel the same way. She seemed to like things up and moving.
I was reading the news the other day, when I noticed that a Mr. Saddam has gotten the death sentence, as well as his half-brother (or some weird shit like that) and some other high-ranking official. Now, this rant isn't about their death sentence, specifically. It's about the death sentence in general. And one of the people that disagree with it, but probably not for the reasons that one would expect.
I hate how the death sentence takes too fucking long and costs way too much money. And what's this "humane" bullshit? This may be a murderer who raped, tortured, and killed women and men. This may be someone who ran around shooting people for no good reason. This may be someone who kidnapped little children and let them starve to death in their basment. And you want to kill this son of a bitch humanely? What the fuck is wrong with you retards? Just put a bullet in his head, and save yourself some time and money.
And I believe that there is a limit to how many people can be put to death each year. What a crock of shit. And what about people who kill others and get several years. Right. He's sitting there, reading books, watching TV, getting 3 meals a day, a place to sleep, weight lifting, classes, free medical care. Right. That fucker is being punished. Like Hell he is.
Oh, sure, I realize that prisoners get killed by other prisoners, and possibly raped, and stuff. Yeah, that happens. But some of them, not all, deserve it. And a shit load more.
And while I'm bitching about the American "justice" system, I might as well adress another issue. What is this shit about protecting prisoners so that they can get "justice"?. I'll bring up an example. When Lee Harvey Oswald shot Kennedy (I fucking hate Kennedy, but let's not get into that), the police were trying to protect him. This man just shot and killed your president... and you're protecting him. So that he can sit in a prison cell for a while, using the money of tax payers for the various "services" that prisoners get, and then he gets a trial, and then he's back to using up money.
Luckily, Oswald was shot before they could do this mockery of justice to him. And he got his justice. A bullet in the head. I don't need a court full of people I don't know and some over-paid asshole with a black robe and a hammer to tell me what justice is. I'm all for making sure that a crime was committed before any actions taken, as shooting someone in the head is something you can't quite take back... but once you know they did it, just kill them.
None of this "but we're lowering ourselves to his level" bullshit. I don't like it when people die for no reason. I don't like it when anything dies pointlessly. But if some asshole runs around killing a bunch of people, his death isn't pointless. That, my friend, is justice. An eye for an eye! If such killing occurs, the world is already blind.
And I really wish this wasn't so. I do wish that people wouldn't do this, so that we wouldn't need any kind of justice, whether it be true justice or some fucked up mockery. And it grieves me to see the human race like this, but I don't think it can be helped.
And that concludes my rant for now. Again, I'd like to send out my wishes for Sporky's family, and I hope that she can rest in peace.
As you all have noticed, my layout is complete now. There might be a tweak here or there, but it's done. And I want to take this moment to thank my code slave for all of her hard work, and basically, without her, this blog wouldn't be here. I'm a picky bastard, and I don't like the default layouts. Being stuck with a default layout, I probably wouldn't have ever bothered to make the blog.
My code slave also has a blog, and once I'm certain that she's actually updating it, I'll link it here for you all to read. She's feeling better now, I believe. I know the stitches in her mouth are coming out slowly(she's complained about it), and hopefully they'll be out in about a week or so.
I'm working on the picture-layout for the blog right now. I think it will include our characters as the main picture, but I'm having like the artists version of writers block right now. I'm probably going to draw it by hand, and then enhance it digitally. I still have no clue what the bio pages will look like, though. My code slave and I are still discussing that, but we'll have some idea soon. Right now, I just want to remind anyone who's in the RP and reading this that I need the bios to be written before we can actually do the layout for them, so please finish them ASAP.
My heart also goes out to Scott and Faye, at the moment. I've read Faye's recent blog entry, and though I've known what's going on, I couldnt' really do anything about it. That hasn't changed; I still can't do anything about it, but I'm praying that everything will go well and that Scottie will be ok. Faye doesn't deserve to worry so much, nor does poor Scott deserve so much pain, both physically from whatever ails him, and emotional, from his parents.
I hope that it is soon resolved.
And for now, that's it. I have something to rant about, but I'm so into trying to draw the layout that the ranting fluids just aren't flowing properly. I'll probably post it later in the day, or tomorrow.
It is currently 05:22 am. I don't give a shit what time this says I posted. My computer think that I live in Africa, anyway. Why not change the time setting? Very simple. That requires about 7 or 8 extra clicks in my day, and with my busy schedual, I just can't afford to waste that kind of time.
I'm really bored, and as usual, I've been thinking about things, and going over things that have happened.
So, here's the news:
I got modded recently at www.varusonline.com. I was actually a bit surprised; I didn't expect anyone there to mod me at all. It's way harder than I thought it would be, but at the same time, very satisfying. It pisses me off when people do certain things, and a lot of those certain things, like flooding, flaming, and trolling, happen to be against the rules. So, I get to actually scream at people doing that.
Luckily, I rarely need to do my job; Varus seems to have a mature community for the most part, although I have a few issues with some idividual users there. One of the things that I really like is that, unlike Gaia, the admin actually post. I always thought that was spiffy - the admin on Gaia act like Gods, while the admin on Varus seem more like really smart police officers.
I'm not trying to say that the Gaia admin are pompous - I understand perfectly well that they probably don't have a lot of time, especially considering Gaia's user base. It's just that the presense of both admin makes Varus seem more like... home.
There are a few things that really piss me off, though. There was something new that was supposed to happen. I was really looking forward to this new thing - and... I don't think we'll ever be able to get it now. I even made stuff for the new thing (I can't tell anyone what it is, because I'm not really supposed to know in the first place), and I worked hard on the stuff for the new thing... and so, I'm really upset that it probably won't come.
I've argued about this with one of the admin for countless times (she's also my code slave for the blog layout), and technically, I shouldn't be angry at her; she hasn't got any control over this. I'm slightly more angry at our other admin, the founder. She's in a situation where she isn't able to get to her server right now... and although I don't know every little detail, I think she could have avoided it - and that she can remedy it - if she'd swallowed her pride for just a little bit.
I mean, I'm not totally mad at her. She's a kind hearted person, and she's very intelligent. I just wonder if she's a little naive sometimes. She's trusting and... just... trusting. Her kindness has put her in situations that aren't good, and had she not been as trusting, she wouldn't be in them. I'm just very annoyed that this happens to be one of the situations that could have been avoided.
Worst of all, I don't have the heart to tell her this. Like I said before, it's not as if she's doing this on purpose or being lazy. She's in a bad situation, and I'm not the kindest with words. I'd get very upset if I made her upset, and I know that something like this will. I just wish I knew what I could do to fix it. All I can do is continue to support the site with everything I've got, because otherwise I'm powerless. It just feels kind of hopless, though, and I'm afraid to say that I'm on the verge of giving up hope. I push on because I care about the two admin, I'm friends with those on the mod squad, the user base is all right, and face it; as one of the Site Artists, my blood and sweat is in that site!
In other news, I started an RP here, on blogger, with my friends. I think it's going pretty well so far, and it too, will have a modified layout once my code slave is feeling better (Ye olde code slave got her wisdom teeth surgically removed, and is in a lot of ye olde pain). It'll have a similar layout to my blog's once it's finished, with a few more modifications and differences. I haven't been this excited about RP for a long, long time. I hope to make it awesome.
It's not much to look at right now, and there aren't very many entries, but if anyone is interested, it can be found here, at http://thesevenrosesbar.blogspot.com/
To read it, you'd have to start from the bottom and work your way up.
I'm working on my comic, but I've run into a few problems. I have the theme, and what I want it to be about, and everything, but I can't figure out how to start off the comic well, and if I should do it completely by hand, digitally, or a mix of the two. And I also don't have all of the time in the world, so I'm not sure that I will be able to update it regularly. And I'm uncertain if I have to add a warning that one must be 18 or older to read it, because there's no way in hell I plan on censoring it, and there may be parts that will turn the R rating (because of fuckity the fuck fuck, amoung other wonderful phrases) into a possible X rating.
I still have to look all of that stuff up, but I'm currently too lazy. I'm not feeling well at all, and when you're sick, you get really lazy. It can be expressed by the following mathmatical formula:
